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This August, two years into their relationship, Yumi Temple and her boyfriend, Daniel, moved into their first apartment together, in Denver.
It was Temple’s first time living with another person, outside of family, and she quickly learned there was a lot to navigate.
The couple decided to see a therapist, to work through their differences and find the best ways to communicate. Temple, 28, recently quit her full-time job and is trying to get a business off the ground; Daniel is a full-time engineer.
“I just wanted somebody on speed dial to help us with the issues we’d inevitably come into,” Temple said.
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Money is one of the biggest tension points for couples. And when people move in together for the first time, many financial questions and tasks arise, leaving room for disagreement and awkwardness.
Handling the transition proactively and honestly — and being open to vulnerability — can prevent a lot of problems along the way, experts say. Here’s a look at three financial tips for cohabitation.
1. Determine how expenses are paid
One of the first conversations a couple moving in together should have is about how expenses will be paid, said Wynne Whitman, co-author of “Shacking Up: The Smart Girl’s Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned.”
Splitting costs evenly is not always fair, experts point out — especially considering that women still earn, on average, 18% less than men, according to a Pew Research Center Analysis of Census Bureau data.
“Is every expense split 50-50? ” Whitman said. “Is there another arrangement if one partner earns more?”
“Making a decision and sticking to it removes a lot of stress.”
After Hailey Pinto and her boyfriend graduated from college in Connecticut, they decided to take a shot at living together.
Pinto works remotely from their one-bedroom apartment in Charlotte, North Carolina, where her boyfriend got a job offer at a bank. They don’t split their $1,900 monthly rent 50-50 but instead according to their income levels, since it is their biggest expense.
“It’s almost like a 60-to-40 split,” said Pinto, 21. Meanwhile, they share their other expenses evenly. “We try to keep it fair.”
When it comes to the lease (assuming you’re renting), experts recommend that everyone who lives in the apartment be on it.
Is every expense split 50-50? Is there another arrangement if one partner earns more? Making a decision and sticking to it removes a lot of stress.
That way, Whitman said, “both partners are equally responsible and have equal rights.”
For their part, Temple and her boyfriend also have a third roommate in their Denver rental. All three of them are on the lease of the 3-bedroom apartment, where they share rent according to square footage.
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Read More: 3 financial tips for couples moving in together for the first time